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seawitches
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Posted: Wed Sep 3rd, 2008 09:12 pm | 1st Post |
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Dear Mr Holland America... can I call you HA for short?
Since my initiation to cruising, I have always wanted to sample your product.
For some ridiculous reason I was under the impression that you had a more "old way" of cruising. Not to mean old cruise ships (but I may have to reserve judgement on that remark, it may be the truth).
I'm not looking for glitz, entertainment or the WOW factor. I simply want good food, good service,a civilized G&T, a comfortable cabin, and reassurance of a safe smooth journey to far a way destinations.
I am aware that I am going to be gouged for the martini's, photos, and those damn pashmina knock offs in the store. I have paid quite a bit more than another cruise line for a similar suite, partly due to the location of the cruise. In no way am I under the impression that because I have paid more that your cruise line is superior to the others.
But.... I am now getting a tad bit nervous.
Seriously you have the most unfriendly web site to use, and now today I read this http://www.breakingtravelnews.com/article/20080822135235873
How the heck could anyone possibly use their blackberry to surf the HA site to book with you when I have trouble on my wonderful MacBook??
It was great news to see the hiring of Mr Murphy, but could you change your IT personnel and hire a new web designer?
And I would desperately love a duvet, med hard pillows, a 26 of amber rum, 26 of Sapphire Bombay gin and diet tonic delivered to my cabin on May 7 sailing. It is after all my birthday, and where else could one imagine spending their 55th but onboard the Oosterdam in Venice with a G&T in hand????
Signed~~~~ "hopefully the beginning of a beautiful relation~ship"
Sheila
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captN
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Posted: Wed Sep 3rd, 2008 09:28 pm | 2nd Post |
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Dear Sheila,
Thank you for your comments, we will see what we can do to address your concerns regarding our web site.
As far as your birthday requests I regret to inform you that these items are only included for those celebrating their 50th, birthday, seems you are a bit beyond that. But please don't let this discourage you, we have many specials for cruisers celebrating their 90th and 100th birthdays ...... hope this gives you something to look forward to.
Welcome Aboard and Best Regards,
HA
PS, can I call you seawitches ?
____________________
 Third box car midnight train .... 2008
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seawitches
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Posted: Wed Sep 3rd, 2008 09:50 pm | 3rd Post |
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Dear HA,
If I wait that long, you most certainly will be able to call me "seabitches"
Signed ~ get the clean duvet on that SY, I'm bringing a black light.
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captN
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Posted: Wed Sep 3rd, 2008 10:02 pm | 4th Post |
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Dear Seawitches,
I can't promise a clean duvet since the majority of our customers are ... well I'd rather not say. However we do supply free canes holders in your stateroom, a place right out side your cabin to park your scooter, in cabin walker storage, and clean denture holders with complementary cleanser in the bathrooms.
I'm sure you will enjoy your stateroom with or without the clean duvet, considering all the other added amenities we are providing free of charge.
Regards
HA
____________________
Third box car midnight train .... 2008
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seawitches
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Posted: Wed Sep 3rd, 2008 10:37 pm | 5th Post |
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 too funny..
Dear HA HA.
I'll forget the black light and just do the whiff test!
~ signed slightly dampened seabitches~
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hstrybuf
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Posted: Thu Sep 4th, 2008 02:45 am | 6th Post |
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____________________
Deb
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson
My pics: http://community.webshots.com/user/hstrycrsr
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seawitches
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Posted: Thu Sep 4th, 2008 05:29 pm | 7th Post |
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Dear Mini HaHa
I awoke with great concern today when I continued reading your old posted news. My concern, albeit not specifically for myself as I am now truly broke after paying for this cruise, but for my sister. She has a rather large penchance for jewelery and I see that you are now adding upscale jewelry shops to your ships. (Merabella). But once again I am feeling like "Doubting Thomas" regarding your company's Signature of Excellence.
The news boards are displaying a plethora of upcoming improvements to five of your ships, but the Oosterdam is not mentioned. It is going into dry dock in April 09 for a whole month. Surley it is to renew the old girl (which we all need from time to time) Tightened her face, smooth out those worn lines, spruce up her closet and strenthen her old bladder muscles. But why is she not mentioned? Has Mr HA decided to float her down to the scrap yard? I surely hope not, this was one of our deciding factors when we emptied our our bank accounts to book this cruise. We were under the impression that she would be revitalized thus ensuing our renewed vigor and rest.
You are certainly pulling out all the stops for the five other ships. Can you please assure me that the new duvet and liquid libations will be in my suite? Can I rest assured that the carpet will be free of stains and odours and bathroom to be mold free? Or should I be stock piling Clorox Wipes, and throw my steam cleaner into my carry on?
signed ~newly acquired shareholder
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captN
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Posted: Thu Sep 4th, 2008 06:17 pm | 8th Post |
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Dear Newly,
Sorry to hear about your bank account, might I interest you in a HAL Visa Card with an extended line of credit ?
The main reason for Dry Dock for the Oosterdam is for fumigation, as I said before based on our typical clientele this becomes a necessity every so many years to remove certain types of stains and odors from the staterooms and public areas of our fine ships. While the ole gal may need some nips and tucks here and there I want you to rest assured she is more than sea worthy, has no major mechanical problems and only a few slight structural issues ( she has a tendency to list from time to time, can be a bit restless, and produces an occasional shudder when confronted with high seas )
It gives me great pleasure to inform you that since you are sailing after she enters dry dock you will be getting a completely fumigated and professionally restored duvet in your cabin.
Once again Welcome Aboard
Ha
____________________
Third box car midnight train .... 2008
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goodml
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Posted: Fri Sep 5th, 2008 12:47 am | 9th Post |
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| You two were made for each other.
____________________
ML
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hstrybuf
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Posted: Fri Sep 5th, 2008 12:54 am | 10th Post |
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| Martin & Lewis, Laurel & Hardy, Hope & Crosby. Now we have CaptN and seawitches.
____________________
Deb
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson
My pics: http://community.webshots.com/user/hstrycrsr
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seawitches
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Posted: Fri Sep 5th, 2008 03:27 am | 11th Post |
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| maybe I should rename myself Tennille... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbh9c0noR4s
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seawitches
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Posted: Fri Sep 5th, 2008 07:10 pm | 12th Post |
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Dear HA,
I must firstly apologize for not realising that your name was HAL not HA. I am so sorry to be so rude. Please accept my apologies.
Well I have been scrutinizing your site once again. Indeedy... very confusing.
I have been pondering the possibility of joing your staff, and been searching the job bank. Also equally confusing as the UK flag links (which I presume is to indicate "English language", comes up in English but then reverts back to Dutch.
I have no aversion to learning Dutch, but at this time I am afraid that I will be applying for employment in you hair salon rather than the Librarian's job. Enclosed you will find a self portrait and understand my lack of beauty skills.
I am a very good person with books, and this is the job I am applying for. You have quite nicely listed the job details.
Librarian
Location: Shipboard
Job Code: 192
# of openings: 1
Description
Responsible for the appearance and overall organization of the Explorations Cafe.
Responsible for check in/out procedures of books, DVDs and board games.
Organizes books for display on shelves according to category.
Responsible for maintenance of DVD library.
Maintains board games, puzzles, stationary, magizines and newspapers for guests use.
Orders and maintains all required supplies for the operation fo the Cafe.
Assists guests with basic internet inquiries.
Socializes, interacts and maintains high visibility among guests.
I am querying the responsibility for appearance of Explorations Cafe. Does this entail "cleaning" of any sort? Surely you jest?
And how computer literate do I really have to be? Considering your stated high percentage of seniors cruising HAL, I wonder as to their puter literacy, eyesight and time out allowances.
I can socialise with your guests, and feel that I am very adept with this age group specifically as I have had 36 years gerontology experiance. I know all about puree diets, Attends, prostates or lack of them, how to insert hearing aid batteries and can actually clean them, I can mix a great prune cocktail and chart how effective it was. I am not very good at remembering Trivia though, unless of course the questions are pre 1964, then I am an expert.
My CV is accompanying this application, please excuse the typos. The Advil hasn't kicked in yet.
signed ~ a potential new employee
p.s. any word on that SY guarantee yet? Have you checked the drydock schedule? Are my carpets slatting for steam cleaning??Last edited on Fri Sep 5th, 2008 07:12 pm by seawitches
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seawitches
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Posted: Sat Sep 6th, 2008 04:50 pm | 13th Post |
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seawitches
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 01:55 am | 14th Post |
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Dear Hal (god I love that name, I bet you are tall, slim, dirty blonde nice length hair, strong features, drop dead gorgeous in dress uniform, is it white or navy?
Oh, yes.... I am faced with another dilemna. I have been obsessing regarding my guarantee status, but have been reading about the mysterious upgrade fairy. She certainly sounds delicious, but there are rumblings of how her gift can be unsettling and quite simply put a less choice cabin. How So?
Is this deck locations, and noise?
Am I correct in understanding that it may be an upgrade, but not?
Unless of course the upgrade was from an SY to an SA, (and SC would be great, I love those two letters ). But this type of upgrade would necessitate increase tipping??? Is that correct? I wouldn't have any need of a concierge, but I certainly could make short order on any liquid libations, snacks, or spa perks. And heck what lady doesn't enjoy free laundry services.. I could bring less and maybe throw in that dusty ol ball gown for formal night.
Another thing I'm reading is that HAL doesn't charge less for a guarantee, so why do they do it?? And one more thing Hal la berry how do you spell guarantee????????
Signed~~ Could be yours.Last edited on Tue Sep 16th, 2008 01:56 am by seawitches
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hstrybuf
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 02:42 am | 15th Post |
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seawitches wrote: Dear Hal (god I love that name, I bet you are tall, slim, dirty blonde nice length hair, strong features, drop dead gorgeous in dress uniform, is it white or navy?
Oh, yes.... I am faced with another dilemna. I have been obsessing regarding my guarantee status, but have been reading about the mysterious upgrade fairy. She certainly sounds delicious, but there are rumblings of how her gift can be unsettling and quite simply put a less choice cabin. How So?
Is this deck locations, and noise?
Am I correct in understanding that it may be an upgrade, but not?
Unless of course the upgrade was from an SY to an SA, (and SC would be great, I love those two letters ). But this type of upgrade would necessitate increase tipping??? Is that correct? I wouldn't have any need of a concierge, but I certainly could make short order on any liquid libations, snacks, or spa perks. And heck what lady doesn't enjoy free laundry services.. I could bring less and maybe throw in that dusty ol ball gown for formal night.
Another thing I'm reading is that HAL doesn't charge less for a guarantee, so why do they do it?? And one more thing Hal la berry how do you spell guarantee????????
Signed~~ Could be yours.
If you ever meet this HAL and he's everything you think . . . CALL ME!!!!
____________________
Deb
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson
My pics: http://community.webshots.com/user/hstrycrsr
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Catnip
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 02:55 am | 16th Post |
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seawitches wrote:
Dear HA HA.
I'll forget the black light and just do the whiff test!
~
YUK. 
Last edited on Tue Sep 16th, 2008 02:55 am by Catnip
____________________
33 previous cruises..
Next up: Celebrity Solstice 1-09/Jewel of the Seas 3-09/ QM 2 11-09/ Queen Victoria 1/10
**Triangles Are For Losers!**
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state"
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seawitches
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 02:58 am | 17th Post |
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| it's pee Denise... old people.... diapers....... remember the old days, thumping those old # hips onto the xray table>>> YIKES>>>>
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Catnip
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 04:32 am | 18th Post |
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Oh, yeah.........I remember!!!!!!!! 
Those cold, hard x-ray tables and those thin patient gowns!!!! 
____________________
33 previous cruises..
Next up: Celebrity Solstice 1-09/Jewel of the Seas 3-09/ QM 2 11-09/ Queen Victoria 1/10
**Triangles Are For Losers!**
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state"
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kimdave68
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| Joined: | Tue Feb 20th, 2007 |
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 04:53 am | 19th Post |
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HAL has a single glowing red eye and calls me by name! 
____________________
The official NCL Cruise Blog Youtube Home
http://www.youtube.com/nclcruiseblog
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seawitches
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 02:37 pm | 20th Post |
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| ..... and not to be confused with "Kit".
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captN
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Posted: Tue Sep 16th, 2008 03:10 pm | 21st Post |
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seawitches wrote: Dear HA,
I must firstly apologize for not realising that your name was HAL not HA. I am so sorry to be so rude. Please accept my apologies.
Well I have been scrutinizing your site once again. Indeedy... very confusing.
I have been pondering the possibility of joing your staff, and been searching the job bank. Also equally confusing as the UK flag links (which I presume is to indicate "English language", comes up in English but then reverts back to Dutch.
I have no aversion to learning Dutch, but at this time I am afraid that I will be applying for employment in you hair salon rather than the Librarian's job. Enclosed you will find a self portrait and understand my lack of beauty skills.
I am a very good person with books, and this is the job I am applying for. You have quite nicely listed the job details.
Librarian
Location: Shipboard
Job Code: 192
# of openings: 1
Description
Responsible for the appearance and overall organization of the Explorations Cafe.
Responsible for check in/out procedures of books, DVDs and board games.
Organizes books for display on shelves according to category.
Responsible for maintenance of DVD library.
Maintains board games, puzzles, stationary, magizines and newspapers for guests use.
Orders and maintains all required supplies for the operation fo the Cafe.
Assists guests with basic internet inquiries.
Socializes, interacts and maintains high visibility among guests.
I am querying the responsibility for appearance of Explorations Cafe. Does this entail "cleaning" of any sort? Surely you jest?
And how computer literate do I really have to be? Considering your stated high percentage of seniors cruising HAL, I wonder as to their puter literacy, eyesight and time out allowances.
I can socialise with your guests, and feel that I am very adept with this age group specifically as I have had 36 years gerontology experiance. I know all about puree diets, Attends, prostates or lack of them, how to insert hearing aid batteries and can actually clean them, I can mix a great prune cocktail and chart how effective it was. I am not very good at remembering Trivia though, unless of course the questions are pre 1964, then I am an expert.
My CV is accompanying this application, please excuse the typos. The Advil hasn't kicked in yet.
signed ~ a potential new employee
p.s. any word on that SY guarantee yet? Have you checked the drydock schedule? Are my carpets slatting for steam cleaning??
Dear Potential,
We have been hard at work here trying to translate your CV which I assume you intentionally submitted in French as a joke since you were obviously aware we only have Dutch speakers in the HR department at HAL.
As far as the cleaning of the Explorations Cafe, I don't understand why this would be a problem for you. Based on your years of experience in gerontology I'm sure you have cleaned up your share of "accidents", and as you stated you are quite aware that our typical clientele is quite accident prone. Maybe it is the thought of wearing an apron that concerns you ?? Please note this is a required part of the uniform for this position.
I noticed you did not mention anything about your experience in the area of puzzles, although I have determined from reading your emails that you are quite adept in this area.
From what I can tell from your ramblings you have quite an interesting background that I believe we here at HAL could use to enhance our service offerings to our senior cruisers so I ask that you bear with us while we continue to decipher your CV.
On another note I have confirmed that all carpets will be steam cleaned during the dry dock. Also on the questions of guarantees I pass along this quote from my dear father, "In life there are no guarantees", and remember a cabin on HAL is like no other so regardless of where you end up the service and amenities you receive will be like no other.
Once again I welcome you aboard, and hope to see you as part of the HAL family soon.
Best Regards,
HAL
PS. As a token of our appreciation for all your comments I have arranged for a case of Sunsweet Prune Juice, a bottle of Muscatell, and a 6 pack of colt-45 to be sent to your stateroom.
____________________
Third box car midnight train .... 2008
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